ghost of you-

Saturday, October 21

i think im getting naughtier. i sneaked out of house again this morning. hahaha. at 1.10am. wahh i was waiting damn long for my dad to go to slp la. for 1 hour plus leh. cos he went to slp.. den he woke up n watched tv.. so took v long to go back to slp again.

i seriously hate mosquitoes. n the security guards at my condo.

im suddenly feelin this emptiness in me again. hmm. i oso dunno y. thought i shdnt b feeling it. ya.. true tt many gaps in my life have been filled.. but sometimes i still feel tt i stand alone. maybe itz a good thing, tt we're not tt dependent on each other.. but i realli dunno la. sometimes i worry too much. but i guess things r still working out fine ba.

i think this is damn chio. someone drew it on the whiteboard in one of the classrooms. it looked as if it was printed

yayy i love the jj bear hahaa

n so does cheryl. she insisted on squeezing into the box of bears to take a photo. haha

cheryl & vasan.

the badges on my bag =) moo.

he was digging my grave. hahaha but too bad im too big. damn cool la. it was at a playground near chestnut drive sec.

ah okay im off to slack now =(

at least tmr will b a better day. yayy. dragon dance trng n grandma's birthday dinner. damn siao la the dinner's at sheraton towers. dunno y this yr so high class. haha 5 star sia. gonna cost 3000plus bucks o.O n tmr's the first day of the 9th lunar month. supp to b vegetarian. but i dun care haha go there eat vegetarian damn sad la.

haunted ;
time;8:00 PM

###

Thursday, October 19

hmm it has been some time since i last blogged haha. ah it has been a long week. i cant remember wad ive been doing.. im just tired la. haf been so damn tired for the whole week.. slping during lectures.. struggling to keep my eyes open during gp at 8 plus am.. n yah a lot of stuff lah.

chinese garden can be beautiful at nite.

soft launch for leaders' mess was rather boring o.O so few leaders.. but i enjoyed myself a little i guess. the nite was.. different. not very nice, not very memorable, but i still treasure it.

gp is reeeaaallli boring. itz like.. history lesson. hai. slackin in the cantten wif 'verbal nuggets' goin on is rather nice la. hmm wushu. pathetic again. this time i didnt inform them abt it.. cos i just assumed tt they assume tt there's training. im realli sick n tired of informing them anw. esp when u get crappy replies. so anw there were 4 of us.. but quite fun lah yayy. at least i think my attitude towards wushu is improving a lot more. n we haf a lot a lot of new weapons. so yay. taiji is fun! =)

i think im mood-swingy. i can feel really down in the afternoon.. n smile like crazy at nite. hai.

slackin in the leaders' mess today was nice. ok it was crazy. started playin cluedo.. haha damn siao la. both times i guessed it right lo.. n when i wanna go n guess le they keep pulling me back. hahha damn mean la. always like tt de. but yupp it was fun =) oops i was even screaming away haha.

i think i realli cannot get well le la. im still dying. n i haf no one to blame except myself. so ya.

im so sick of bio. itz getting digusting. realli. n theres bio spa tmr. skills b n c. hai.

anw i think it was mon.. saw how someone daoed me. itz like. realli super obvious la haha. imagine someone walks past u.. suddenly turns his/her head to the left side n starts looking up n down all over the wall. hmm. quite disgusting oso la. but wad to do.. still my fault wad. haiya wdv lo. but still somehow i noe tt i just cant treat this person as a stranger as much as i want to.

i think ive been realli insensitive. itz like.. i dun think n feel as much as i used to. i dun understand myself.. i dun understand wad's going on.. i dunno how to solve probs anymore.. i dunno how to make things become better. realli leh. the silence sometimes realli scares me. hai itz when fatigue or boredom hits.. no one wants to talk.. n we stay silent with a heavy heart. at least tts how i feel. sometimes i realli wanna smile.. but i just cant. i dunno wads going on la. i need a break. i need sleep. i need to sort this out. but one thing is, i noe tt im still happy like this. but i'll make it better. ah i need time to think and feel. i think im getting kinda zombified.

and as a part of my promise to take good care of myself, i'll go sleep now n not study. goodnite.

haunted ;
time;10:39 PM

###

Sunday, October 15

hoho. was still down for emceeing today. omg felt like it was damn last min. thought i wld b doin ushering liao mah. think it was quite screwed up. esp the in front those parts. behind was ok la. n my voice is =/ bad. was crappin around wif chian lim n yu zheng b4 the thing started.. n they kept shutting me up la! cos i kept talking n my voice was starting to go off le haha. i still hate court shoes. they never fit. haha. n always hurt. lunch reception.. usualli will haf super lots of food left.. n yah this time obviously there was supposed to b a lot left too. hahaa but wow wad a kiasu-ism eye opener. the food was starting to get wiped out n packed into plastic bags even b4 some of our ppl got to eat. cool.

waa deathnote. i was rather surprised. thought there wld b a lot of ppl watching it. since itz like a sunday n itz the onli slot for the day. but eh no leh. hmm. n at 1st onli saw mr leow, benja, jac n bryan.. oo din noe the whole row was all our ppl de. damn cool la. they occupied the whole row haha. i was sitting near the aisle.. got a shock when mr leow suddenly walked over n tapped me. haa uh i dunno wad to say abt deathnote la. hmm i din read the comic.. but i dun think itz worth watching. n itz a sequel la. so can imagine how lame n abrupt the ending is.

cycling. hahahha funny la. all thanks to wm n his stupid idea. left me to steer while he pedalled. n we crashed into the barrier of the canal. luckily din fly into the canal la. hoho got a bad shock cos the initial impact was actualli quite great.. n now got bruises n scratches haaha. yayy chinese garden is nice. but still scary.

ah n im so dead for op rehearsal tmr. hafnt even prepared anything lah. so few slides.. so much time to talk.. nothing to say. no voice to talk. die.

n so fast the weekend is over liao lahh. =( it just zoomed past. din even do any work. rarr. n ive been wanting to watch my princess hours dvds. but my dad has been hogging the tv n dvds for the whole weekend. n we're watchin at diff pace so yah. so irritating. but anw itz damnn nice la. ahh. ya i wanna watch!

anw my dad is ill like i am so he stays at home to rest n watch tv. n now my mom is ill too haha. greaat. but i think im recovering first! so yay!

off to slp now. wakin up early to do op stuff. rarr.

haunted ;
time;10:56 PM

###